June 2009
44 posts
“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t...”
– Neil Gaiman
“Who knows what true happiness is, not the conventional word.. but the naked...”
– Joseph Conrad
“ There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in...”
– Carl Jung
“You used to find that little things made you happy; now you can’t even find the...”
– (via victoryblues)
“One foot in front of the other, sweetheart, and you will find your way back.”
– (via victoryblues)
“from my own experience, when someone is trying very hard to get something, they...”
– haruki murakami, kafka on the shore (via victoryblues)
“‘Well,’ she said, ‘I’m seventeen and I’m crazy. My uncle says the two always go...”
– Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (via victoryblues)
Fix You
Chris wrote this song for Gwyneth Paltrow after her father died. She came home from the hospital covered and drenched in tears, and he started crying and asked her, “what can I do for you? tell me how I can do” and she looked up at him, and said “just hold me… cause you’re the only thing that can fix me right now” And that was that - he wrote the song the next day.
“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or...”
– Martin Luther King Jr. (via victoryblues)
“This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.”
– Fight Club
On Meaning & Meaninglessness
1.0 Introduction
Everything is possible and yet nothing is. All is permitted and yet again, nothing. No matter which way we go, it is no better than any other. It is all the same whether you achieve something or not, have faith or not, … whether you cry or remain silent. There is an explanation for everything, and yet there is none. Everything is both real and unreal, normal and absurd,...
Death
Death is not something from the outside, ontologically different from life, because there is no death independent of life. To step into death does not mean, as commonly believed, especially by Christians, to draw one’s last breath and to pass into a region qualitatively different from life. It means, rather, to discover in the course of life the way towards life and to find in life’s vital signs...
“Oh, as if you had no choice? There’s a moment, there’s always a moment, “I can...”
– Alice, Closer
006. All That You Can't Leave Behind
Just one more hour. One more hour of this mindless self-indulgence to take my mind off the things that really matter. I should be allowed this right, I have problems.
Sure. Except we all have problems. And honestly, mine aren’t all that bad. Yes things may not be all that right, but I’m not starving, not bruised, not living in a war-ravaged country.
And besides, its all a matter of...
“One of my favorite kind of dark jokes is, ‘How do you make God laugh? You make a...”
– Ben Gibbard, Death Cab For Cutie
005. Plans
Today I hit another bump in the road.
Which made me realise that my problem was never about leaving it all behind (I would in a heartbeat, or less.
Instead, the problem (as it has been and always will be) where do we go from here? It is not the fear of leaving it all behind but the fear of not knowing what is to come that is holding me back. The severity of the known is always preferable to the...
004. Remains of the Day
I sometimes find myself wondering around downstairs late into the middle of the night. Most of the time ending up sitting at the poolside till the wee hours of the morning, letting my mind do some exploration of its own. Engaging (almost too) throughly in a world of could-have-beens, would-have beens and should-have beens.
Technically this should not be an issue. I mean, it is only (instinctive)...
“One can’t be forever dwelling on what might have been. One should realize one...”
– The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro
“Don’t attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because...”
– White Oleander
“Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being...”
– El Laberinto de la Soledad (“The Labyrinth of Solitude”), Octavio Paz
003. The Lonesome Road
Somedays I wish that someone was here for me to talk to. I’d don’t think it’d matter who, or what we’d talk about. It’s just the idea of not feeling so alone.
God I hate how afraid of being alone I’ve become again.
ennui
en·nui n. formal a feeling of being tired, bored, and unsatisfied with your life
Ennui, by SYLVIA PLATH
Tea leaves thwart those who court catastrophe, designing futures where nothing will occur: cross the gypsy’s palm and yawning she will still predict no perils left to conquer. Jeopardy is jejune now: naïve knight finds ogres out-of-date and dragons unheard of, while blasé princesses indict tilts at terror as downright absurd.
The beast in Jamesian grove will never jump,...
“I don’t know it’s just, like you know that feeling you get on a Sunday? Where...”
– Peyton, One Tree Hill
002. When It Isn't Like It Should Be
I’m tired.
Tired of sitting here watching my little world crumble before me, and not being able to find the strength to do something about it. Tired of preparing myself for the worst, teaching myself to not expect anything, and still getting disappointed each time. Tired of watching people come and then having them go, always go.
I don’t want to have to think anymore. I need the...
directionless
Main Entry: lost Part of Speech: adjective Definition: missing, off-track Synonyms: absent, adrift, astray, at sea, cast away, disappeared, disoriented, down the drain*, fallen between cracks, forfeit, forfeited, gone, gone astray, hidden, invisible, irrecoverable, irretrievable, irrevocable, kiss goodbye, lacking, minus, mislaid, misplaced, missed, nowhere to be found, obscured, off-course, out...
crows lost in a fog
“The Hartford Times tells a curious story of a flock of crows in that vicinity who recently lost their way in a fog. They lost their bearings at a point directly above the South Green, in Hartford. For a good while they hovered there, coming low down, circling and diving aimlessly about, like a blindfolded person in ‘blind man’s buff,’ and keeping up a hoarse cawing and general racket beyond...
001. "i don't know where i belong"
Wait… where am I? I’ve sat here many times with tears wondering where my life has gone.
Was I right to have done this and not that? Did I make the right choice to stay and not go? What about the people I have chosen to let in… should I have let in who I’ve let in, let the people who’ve walked out do just that?
For the longest time I’ve half-believed that “sometimes you’ve got to get lost to...
“The important thing is not to be bitter over life’s disappointments. Learn to...”
– Whitey, One Tree Hill