006. All That You Can’t Leave Behind
Just one more hour. One more hour of this mindless self-indulgence to take my mind off the things that really matter. I should be allowed this right, I have problems.
Sure. Except we all have problems. And honestly, mine aren’t all that bad. Yes things may not be all that right, but I’m not starving, not bruised, not living in a war-ravaged country.
And besides, its all a matter of choice:
”Sadness is a state of mind.” “Happiness comes from within.”
But do we have a choice, really? Because sometimes the sadness just overwhelms me. You don’t get to choose really. Well, technically I’m sure I could. Drown myself in the music, force myself to be happy. Except that the only thing lesser than sub-existence would be a constructed one.
And yet I am limited by the many contradictions: My refusal to succumb to obligatory exuberance versus its weight on other people versus the importance of my problems to me versus their supposed insignificance in the larger scheme of things.
Perhaps this is just me being so much more self-absorbed and bestowing upon myself so much more self-importance that I am deserving of.
Gosh, take a look around you girl.
There’re real people with real problems.
